Humility and the Willingness to Not Know

Greetings, beloved ones, and welcome to another Words of Light. I’m very glad to be with you again and I hope that your day has been filled with peaceful exploration of who you are and who you are in relation to the world.

I know that that’s a funny thing to say within our social conventions of: “How are you?” and “How are you doing?” But every day is a day of exploration if we choose it to be. Every day is a day of finding out something new if we choose it to be, because consciousness flows like a river, and it is always interacting with the events of the day. We are always moving forward, not necessarily intentionally with our conscious mind, but through the stream of our consciousness which gravitates towards wholeness. In each moment, everything is moving us into greater awareness of who we are.

You may feel that you already have a great deal of awareness of who you are. Nevertheless, I would like to put this to you so that you can feel humble about it. ‘Humble’ means that you understand that awareness and perception are ever expanding, moving toward the Infinite. We move from one level of consciousness of our own being to another level, and our awareness expands more and more. So, whatever you have learned thus far is a good thing, and there is so much more.

Humility is important in order to acknowledge what we don’t know, and in order to move further toward acquiring greater knowledge.

This understanding is the basis for humility, and I would like to share with you, today, why humility is important. Humility is important in order to acknowledge what we don’t know, and in order to move further toward acquiring greater knowledge. If you think of how many times in your life you’ve had an argument with someone because you were sure you were right, and you wanted to convince them that you were right and they were wrong, then you can imagine what humility is not — that it’s not about being right. Humility is the willingness to ‘not know’ and to be shown, and it’s also about the willingness to be led. These are not popular concepts, today, because our world, today, desires empowerment more than humility. We feel stronger when we are empowered to do what we want to do. Empowerment is not bad. It can be good, but it has to come from the right place. And the right place is under the umbrella of humility, because humility is the interface between the human and the Divine. It is that which reaches upward and says: “Show me the way to the Divine. Show me the way I’m meant to live.”

We don’t do that kind of asking nearly enough. We want to be right much of the time. And so, you need to ask yourself: “Why is it so important to be right?” Why, in a discussion with someone else, can’t you ‘not know’ or be vulnerable and unsure? Humility is the magnetic ‘pull’ that allows more knowledge to come to you on many different levels, but you have to let go of your need to be right. And especially when you’re in a power struggle with someone else who also wants to be right, then, it’s particularly important.

Apart from not needing to be right, humility also allows us to be led by the Divine, to be truly led. The more we turn over our need to be in control to the Divine because we feel it’s the way we wish to live, the more we are capable of being led and the more we are capable of doing what we are being guided to do.

There are some things that are so counter to popular culture that we may shy away from them because in the eyes of many they are connected with weakness. For example, being awkward, which is a great good, involves trying something out and not knowing exactly what you’re doing, but being willing to experiment and to make a mistake. Being awkward allows us to take risks because we don’t have to have something turn out the way we want it to. Yet, that’s counter to what most people think. Most want to be ‘cool’ and smooth. Some people feel a natural kind of humility and are comfortable with feeling that way. When that happens, it’s usually because that person is pursuing spiritual life at a greater level of depth, whether consciously or not.

I share this perspective with you so that in your time of self-exploration you can find it easier to learn something that you don’t know, and so you can try something you haven’t tried through your willingness to not know. In relation to the infinite universe, this should be easy, since most of it we don’t know. We know a very tiny slice of what the universe really is. Physicists tell us that eighty percent of the universe is unknown to us.  Only twenty or twenty-five percent do we have any inkling about. We can give twenty or even twenty-five percent names, but the rest is a mystery.

Very often, scientists are more humble for this very reason. They know what they do not know. Science, when it is doing well, is always operating on the edge between knowing something and not knowing something. There’s a built-in humility to that. You know what you know, and there’s a huge amount that you don’t know. When it comes to our personal life, however, we get into a place of becoming defensive and wanting to be right, and wanting to let other people know that we’re right. What if we weren’t that way? What if we didn’t need to be right?

What comes from your soul is your portion of the Divine. It’s something that you can misinterpret, but it’s not something that’s changeable by anybody’s belief, including your own.

Now, I’m not speaking about the more basic values that are the values of our deepest heart and soul. These values are not something to be debated,  but rather are priorities and principles to try to discover within ourselves because they come from the Source. What comes from your soul is your portion of the Divine. It’s something that you can misinterpret, but it’s not something that’s changeable by anybody’s belief, including your own. It’s not changeable by anybody’s opinion. What is changeable, though, are the beliefs that we carry around with us that we often become attached to and adamant about.

Why is it so important to be ‘right’ about these beliefs?

The answer, for many, is because there’s a feeling of competence, confidence, and being able to establish a sense of worth in the eyes of others and in our own eyes. Being ‘right’ is a defense against making mistakes and feeling ‘wrong,’ which can cause us to feel less adequate, less competent, less knowledgeable, more helpless, and less in control of our life.

The more that we know of truth, however, the less that we need to be ‘right’ in the way of self-assertion. The wisest among us need to have no opinions at all. They can just be themselves. But those who are more unsure, who are more driven by the needs of the ego, these are ones who gravitate more strongly to being ‘right.’ When this drive is strong, one feels far less comfortable with not knowing.

Here is something else to think about. In this time of heightened conflict between those of one belief and those of another, there are many who, because of the intensity of emotions that they may feel, are very vehement about their point of view. In their vehemence, they may want you to agree with them. But what if you said that you didn’t know if you agreed with them or not?

Not-knowing is a very good place to be. It allows you to be yourself. It allows you to make up your mind in your own time.  It allows you to align with the truth inside.

Not-knowing is a very good place to be. It allows you to be yourself. It allows you to make up your mind in your own time.  It allows you to align with the truth inside. We can pretend to know about many things, and we can have opinions that we’ve absorbed from other people who think that these opinions are facts. If we hold these opinions lightly, if we are patient with ourselves and wait, the universe will take us to a deeper level of knowing what’s true. Whereas, if we’re adamant about believing something and want others to agree with us, there is no space for learning because we’re already sure we know what there is to know. There’s no space at all for learning.

In the process of turning your life into a life led by the Divine, humility, as I have said, is very important. It involves surrender of the need to be right and the need to know. This is very different than an ego-led life. When you are ready, I invite you to explore this in yourself the next time you have a conversation with someone, or a confrontation, or disagreement. Or even when you’re just doing things during the day. Allow yourself to not know. And, of course, allow yourself to make a mistake. Perhaps you have a decision to make. This is a very good time to practice not-knowing.  If, after asking for guidance, you still don’t know which direction to go in, pick one. Pick the direction that seems the most right and be willing to make a mistake. This is also part of not knowing. Such an attitude lines you up with yourself and with the truth of who you are, more than a pretense about really knowing and really being sure about what you should do.

Sometimes we do this, but often we do not. Often, we become frustrated and self-critical about our lack of sureness. So, perhaps you could disengage from the ego pressure that most human beings live with. Instead of complimenting yourself about how much you know, be a learner. Self-boasting is much more common than one would think. And it doesn’t even have to be done in words. It’s done with a feeling. “Yes, I know these things” helps us to not feel afraid.  But what if you allowed yourself to not know, to become a learner in the most basic ways so that you can be taught as the physicists are being taught by the universe, by that eighty percent that they don’t know about? What if you let yourself be taught by your inner universe that you don’t know about? This can be a spiritual practice with great reward.

Let us therefore pray for humility for ourselves and for all beings, that all may become learners in the exploration of truth, and that all may be willing to share with each other the knowledge that we have and the knowledge that we don’t have but are seeking.

May all seeking be blessed.